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Just tell the truth damn it.

My son has been officially missing for over 30 days. And let's tell the truth he is 17 and a young black man no one is looking for him. The odds have been stacked against him since birth born to a single Mother with a absent Father. However he is still my son and he means the world to me. He is living with people I don't know know and places that I have no idea about. Where do these people come from that don't say let's call your Mother and let her know that you are safe. People in Charlotte are getting killed everyday and I live with that fear daily. But in the era of Facebook lies and Snap chat 24 hour cycle and Instagram celebrity nothing is real. I have to pray and love him and brace myself for what comes next. I have to love him enough to let him at 17 make these choices and pray that God will give him the Grace and time to fix the error of his ways. He not only needs to mend the relationship with me but with my Mother and his Sister who have both been hurt. No...
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Being transparent in this season of my storm.

On the journey of doing this blog it has given me a sense of freedom about my life and my truth is just that. I have lived thru many things in the last 365 days that I had no idea I could live thru. My health has gone from where I didn't feel like trash everyday to now some days getting out of the bed takes a pain pill and an hour just to make it. But because I have kids and I am taking care of my Mother I have no choice but to make it happen. This was not supposed to be my life. I love being a Mother and it is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me. But this year my son has pushed me to the limits to wonder why I gave up my life to be his Mother. I am sure that being my son is not a piece of cake and that I can be the bitch from hell. But I have never done anything but make sure that he was always taken care of and provided for even if it was to my own detriment. If my kids had or have a need my life and health go on the back burner. Afte...
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My Sunshine has come.

I have not blogged in a few weeks and so much has happened. I started not to blog about it but I promised myself that I would blog about the good the bad and the ugly. I know that this helps me process my feelings and it helps some Mother or Father not feel alone. My son came home on July 30th. It was my Mother's BIRTHDAY and I know that he made her day. She was able to see him and  talk to him and that was what she had been her prayer for months. Jordan was happy to see her brother and my house felt like old times, I was in the kitchen cooking my Cubs were laughing and listening to music.and having a good time with each other. I felt for the first time in months that I could breathe. Zachary came to me and asked if he could come home. I was taken aback when he asked and of course I said yes. I had always told him that this would always be his home and that he would always be able to come back. But of course coming home came with rules and expectations. I knew that once he came...
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