Skip to main content

I will take small victories

On my last blog people reached out some to uplift and others to judge. I felt judge by so many people and should have felt uplifted. Then I remembered that only God can judge and that the people who called to judge never called to other to help or asked how they could help so why the hell do I or did I care what "they" said.

When I tell you that God will show up just when you need him to show you that he has indeed not forgotten about you. Today Jordan gave her life to God. She has been through so much but for her to make the a decision at 14 that many people grown people struggle with helped me see that I am winning.  I have not won the war but the small victories are just as important.

I have spent so much time consumed by the struggles of Zachary that I have been less than the mother she deserved.  I have been praying that God would cover her and keep her safe and make sure she was successful and God has been faithful.

So if God can watch over and protect one of my children then why would he not do the same for Zachary. The battle is not over got letters that CMS is trying to prosecute me for his truancy. How can I make him go to school when it is obvious I can't make me stay home. But in this to I shall bless the Lord.

Comments

Ericka said…
I think 14 is a good age to know what she truly wants. I commend you for not pushing her and letting her make her own decision when the time is right for her.
November 13, 2016 at 8:29 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Sunshine has come.

I have not blogged in a few weeks and so much has happened. I started not to blog about it but I promised myself that I would blog about the good the bad and the ugly. I know that this helps me process my feelings and it helps some Mother or Father not feel alone. My son came home on July 30th. It was my Mother's BIRTHDAY and I know that he made her day. She was able to see him and  talk to him and that was what she had been her prayer for months. Jordan was happy to see her brother and my house felt like old times, I was in the kitchen cooking my Cubs were laughing and listening to music.and having a good time with each other. I felt for the first time in months that I could breathe. Zachary came to me and asked if he could come home. I was taken aback when he asked and of course I said yes. I had always told him that this would always be his home and that he would always be able to come back. But of course coming home came with rules and expectations. I knew that once he came...
2 comments
Read more

Come take a ride with me.

So here goes I am by no means a writer or a professional.  However I am a 40 year old mother of 2 teenagers that keep me on my knees in prayer. This blog is not meant to teach anyone anything it is a outlet for me. My goal will be to post everyday good and bad and to be transparent.  If I don't post it maybe a bad Lupus Day and shit no one wants to hear about I promise. Being a single Mother I have learned so many things and still have so much to learn. Kids have a funny was to change a selfish self-centered girl into a woman who forgot about herself so that her kids would never have to suffer. Now I am not going to tell you a fairytale or blow smoke up your assistance but I have believe that I am not the only Mother with two teenagers and suffering from a chronic disease and trying to make sense out of life. So we go to far Hello my name is Kim and I have a son who is 16 and a daughter who 13. I suffer from Lupus,congestive heart failure asthma and the new kid on the mixe...
2 comments
Read more

I am Growing up.

So I  celebrated my 42nd BIRTHDAY and this one was by far the most important one to Me. I thought that 40 was the greatest birthday. Because at 40 I found this new found freedom to live my life on my terms. To live on purpose and to make sure that everyday counted. Somehow that got lost after a couple of months. I went back to the things I knew the things that were comfortable but not necessarily good for me. Things with my son kicked in high gear and my focus was turned to fixing that. I tried to be the best Momma that I could and lost Kim in the process. I didn't know how to do both. Then it was like the harder I held on the more ground I lost. I was so depressed my health was in the trash and I was so unhappy. Then 41 came and I promised myself that I would do better be better put me 1st. Everyone kept telling me that if I took care of myself then the rest would fall into place. That made no sense to me how if I took the focus off of my drama in my life and my heart would it...
Post a Comment
Read more