Hello friends because I feel that we are friends at this point My last blog was about how short life is and how we seem to take it for granted and spend to much time focusing on the wrong people or things, I was dreading Christmas's because I was really missing my Daddy. But then I had to look back over the last 6 months and to see how blessed that I was my life was not perfect but I am in a good space. I still had no idea as to where my son was living or how he was making but God had given me a little peace about that, I have started some new medicine and it is working better than anything else in a very long time. Kimskakery is doing so well that 2017 is going to be a amazing year. Death is still taking people out of my life that touched me and made such a huge impact on my life. And I trying to make sense on what my new normal is for 2017.
On 12/23/16 the anniversary of my Father's death my son came home. He just showed up with no explanation no apologies just hey how are yall doing. On one had I was happy to see him but on the other hand I was mad as hell if you could just show up today then you could have come home at anytime in the 2.5 months that you have been doing whatever you wanted. He no longer looks like my child he has a hard edge to him now no hair cut no shave not dressed and we'll kept the way I had raised him. I was taken aback and then I was sad. Because I knew that someone had looked at my son and wondered what kind of Mother would let her son live on the streets or wherever he had been. I know that someone thought why did this wonderful child with manners and home training as the old folks would say would not be with his family
Who could not love this child. But I never stopped loving him and I never not once gave up,but I had to stop the running in and out of my house whenever he got ready. He had to learn that my house did not have revolving door.
My Mother was over the moon happy that he was home it gave her a since of peace but it didn't feel the for me. His sister said something that was so wise beyond her years as he tried to apologize for what felt like the hundredth time. Jordan said you don't have to apologize I have already forgiving you because I had to move on with my life. I was blown away I had just posted on Facebook a few days earlier that forgiveness was not for the other person it was for you so that you could move on and that your heart could be free. And here it is being said to me by my 14 year old and not just talking the talk but walking in and leaning into the will of God.
I was taught so much on 12/24/16, I also learned that no matter how long a life is on this earth when it is gone it still takes tole on you. I was going to be Godmother to beautiful little girl named Ella Grace but God needed her more so she could not stay. I watched my best friend say good bye to her angel that she had only had felt inside of her but had become such a big part of her life. 2016 was indeed about lessons learned.
I have been able to sleep more and feel little better and have a clearer thought pattern not sure if it's because Zach is home or if it's because I have learned the lesson that God had intended on me to learn all along. 2017 is going to busy for me KimsKakery is going to be doing amazing things .I have been approached about doing something big with my blog and I am going back to school. I figure if I am going to own business I need to know how to run a business. Thank you to everyone who prayed for me and mine or who even talked and judge me because somewhere along the way you were part of my lesson too. So yes Lupus didn't kill me a heart attack didn't kill me high blood pressure is trying hard and all the other things that could have taken me away from my family didn't work and I am so glad I know a man who sits high and looks low and thought it not robbery to give me one more chance.
On 12/23/16 the anniversary of my Father's death my son came home. He just showed up with no explanation no apologies just hey how are yall doing. On one had I was happy to see him but on the other hand I was mad as hell if you could just show up today then you could have come home at anytime in the 2.5 months that you have been doing whatever you wanted. He no longer looks like my child he has a hard edge to him now no hair cut no shave not dressed and we'll kept the way I had raised him. I was taken aback and then I was sad. Because I knew that someone had looked at my son and wondered what kind of Mother would let her son live on the streets or wherever he had been. I know that someone thought why did this wonderful child with manners and home training as the old folks would say would not be with his family
Who could not love this child. But I never stopped loving him and I never not once gave up,but I had to stop the running in and out of my house whenever he got ready. He had to learn that my house did not have revolving door.
My Mother was over the moon happy that he was home it gave her a since of peace but it didn't feel the for me. His sister said something that was so wise beyond her years as he tried to apologize for what felt like the hundredth time. Jordan said you don't have to apologize I have already forgiving you because I had to move on with my life. I was blown away I had just posted on Facebook a few days earlier that forgiveness was not for the other person it was for you so that you could move on and that your heart could be free. And here it is being said to me by my 14 year old and not just talking the talk but walking in and leaning into the will of God.
I was taught so much on 12/24/16, I also learned that no matter how long a life is on this earth when it is gone it still takes tole on you. I was going to be Godmother to beautiful little girl named Ella Grace but God needed her more so she could not stay. I watched my best friend say good bye to her angel that she had only had felt inside of her but had become such a big part of her life. 2016 was indeed about lessons learned.
I have been able to sleep more and feel little better and have a clearer thought pattern not sure if it's because Zach is home or if it's because I have learned the lesson that God had intended on me to learn all along. 2017 is going to busy for me KimsKakery is going to be doing amazing things .I have been approached about doing something big with my blog and I am going back to school. I figure if I am going to own business I need to know how to run a business. Thank you to everyone who prayed for me and mine or who even talked and judge me because somewhere along the way you were part of my lesson too. So yes Lupus didn't kill me a heart attack didn't kill me high blood pressure is trying hard and all the other things that could have taken me away from my family didn't work and I am so glad I know a man who sits high and looks low and thought it not robbery to give me one more chance.
Comments