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Growing Pains

Hello guys when I started this blog a few weeks ago it was meant to be a daily thing as a way to deal with my life the stress of life and to give me a place to vent if needed.
I said that I would be very transparent in this blog because what good would telling a lie to water down my journey  for me or anyone who would read this blog.
So I am going to tell you a story of a young 23 year old woman who was selfish and spoiled, mean outspoken and rude. I did just what I wanted to do whenever I wanted to. I never took any shit off of anyone.
And then God told the best joke ever I got pregnant. I was scared and amazed and ashamed all at the same time. I never wanted kids or anything to do with kids.
I had been raised by a single Mother my sisters both were single Mother's so I knew I could do it but the question was did I want to. Was I ready to make my life about this other person who I was going to have to love,guide and support. I cried many nights and pray just as hard.

Zachary was born 8/19/99  after 26 1/2  hours of natural labor and when I held him for the first time I looked at my Momma and said "I had a baby" it hit me like a ton of bricks .
I had to grow up to go to work when I didn't want to. To put up with supervisor that I wanted to cuss out but could not because I had daycare and my baby had needs .
My life became consumed by him. Zachary was on my hip my life was built around his schedule and I was happier than I could have ever imagined. No it was not easy but it was worth it because this little boy was like a peace of heaven. Zachary  was such a good baby he was not a crier but he always could calm my spirit.

Even though I grew up in church it was after Zachary  was born that my relationship with God became more real. I prayed for him and his life and well  being more than I had ever prayed for anyone or anything. I got saved and I knew that God would not turn his back on Zachary.  Zachary  was the church baby and everyone loved him.
When I was diagnosed with Lupus my totally changed and so did the life of my children. By the time I was diagnosed with Lupus SLE I was now the proud Mother of two children Zachary was a big brother to a little sister Jordan.  He loved everything about her and she knew he would protect her no matter what. I have always loved the relationship between them with only a 3 year  age  difference they were like two peas in a pod.

My health was declining and the stress took a toll on not just me but my kids too. But with them being young they didn't have the language to express how they were feeling and I was so wrapped up in trying to provide a house for them and trying to understand this damn disease that is slowly killing me that. I became depressed and we all know black people don't get depressed and we don't talk about it and don't take medicine. When I tried to talk to my Mother she told me to pull myself together because you have two kids that need you. I was working trying to take care of my kids and hold my life together with a string. I looked up and  the friends that I had for years were gone. I am not sure if I pushed them away or if they left because I had become the sick friend.  My kids were my life and I kept them close to me  and looking back to close at some point.

Comments

Ericka said…
You're right, "we" aren't allowed to get sick. Or rather, we're not allowed to let sickness stop us from doing what we have to do. This comes from decades of being the race that makes it happen regardless of circumstance. But mothers...we never have an excuse. We never get a timeout. Breaks are unheard of. We just...KEEP DOING. And that's one thing you've never stopped doing, is being a great, attentive, caring mother.
Unknown said…
Thank I am doing the best I can.

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